10. She talks openly about her sweaty armpits.
9. Even though she has sweaty armpits, she still looks cool as a cucumber in photos taken with (slightly) deranged fans.
8.
Crash Hot Potatoes. I just might be the ambassador for Crash Hot Potatoes. If I haven't yet spread the good news in your direction, take this hint and make them tonight. If (by divine intervention--trust me, this is what it will take), you manage to have some leftovers, use them for the crust in a quiche like my brilliant friend Charlotte.
7. Not only does she talk openly about sweaty armpits, but she actually wore
two different earrings to the book signing last night. I would so totally do that, but no way could I rock them like she did.
6.
Caramelized Onion and Prosciutto Pizza. I make Ree's
Basic Pizza Crust on Sundays (and sometimes on Wednesdays, too) and use it for whichever night(s) of the week becomes Pizza Night. For the longest time I would make the kids a pepperoni or sausage or some other kid-friendly pie and save the good stuff for the grownups, but last week one of them tried a piece when I wasn't looking and that ruse has officially come to an end. I keep meaning to try the bbq chicken pizza, but alas, I cannot tear myself away from that sweet-and-salty wonder. The Potato-Leek Pizza in the cookbook might just be able to do it, though. Seriously, potato and leek pizza?
Seriously.
5. She is gracious. This is one of my most longed-for character traits. Because it is so far out of my reach, I recognize it immediately in others. She was gracious to both Charlotte and to me, which, even though we were giddy and nervous and a little bit star-struck, might not have been too difficult seeing how we were the 10th and 11th people in line. However, when Charlotte and I went
back to Borders (after enjoying hot-and-sour soup and lettuce wraps at PF Changs), there was the Pioneer Woman, being just as gracious to numbers 758 and 759, and with the line of autograph-seekers still winding throughout the store. We immediately felt terrible that we hadn't brought her lettuce wraps. Her new BFF really should have. Thankfully, she is gracious enough to forgive me.
4.
Mac and Cheese. She graciously put this recipe in her cookbook just so I could, 1. Buy it (the cookbook) yesterday morning, 2. Make it (the mac and cheese) yesterday afternoon, and 3. Guiltlessly leave my family for the evening to go hang out with her. I specifically asked them to leave me some. They did
not, but all said it was a Do Over, which is code for Make it Again!
3. She wants to take me to the Lodge and fatten me up. She didn't say it in so many words, but there it was, written all over her face. Soon I'll be posting from Oklahoma and packing on the pounds. Maybe I'll actually get to prepare food with something other than a dullish steak knife while I'm there.
2.
Chicken Tikka Masala, by Pastor Ryan. Dude. There are no words. Except maybe these: I want to go to your church and eat at your house afterward. I'll even do the dishes.
1. I love the way she protects her family. I love that while we know there are four gorgeous children who live and learn and work and play and EAT on a working ranch somewhere in the state of Oklahoma, we do not know their names. This, more than sweaty armpits and mismatched earrings, more than photos of
calves' nuts and her husband's derriere, informs me of the content of her character. I wouldn't accept anything less in my new BFF.
